Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
