just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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