Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
the gays at disneyland are vicious
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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