roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
