i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
