he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
