No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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