i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
