doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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