Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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