And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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