"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
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i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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