at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
