we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
