Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
