im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
do herpes really smell.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
