But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Your tits are I can't wait for
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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