even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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