spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
