I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
