May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i barfeds in our rink
im six kinds of drunk right now
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
