When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Randomize
