I hate all girls vehemently.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
