like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
