Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
