He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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