we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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