i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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