i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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