I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
