i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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