I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize