Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
