I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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