There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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