How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
