If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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