I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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