Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
