I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
