Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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