Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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