ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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