I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
