White coat. Heels.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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