dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
