Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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