my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
