Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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