in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I've blown a few things in my day
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
